Monthly Archives: January 2013

Aside

Judge nothing, you will be happy. Forgive everything, you will be happier. Love everything, you will be happiest.

                                                                                                                                                                                                              Sri Chinmoy

I started the day thinking about addiction. I have a family member who is in a very bad, very dark place right now. She has come to this place following the path of addiction. It has been sad, frightening and frustrating to watch.  And if I am being honest with you it has also been annoying.  I don’t think a lot of people want to admit that. It doesn’t make me look like a very nice person. But I don’t care so much about how I look right now, this isn’t a post about saving face.  There has been an addict in my life in one way or another since the day I was born. I’ve seen them get clean and I’ve seen them self destruct. I have loved and hated them, sometimes at the same time. But mostly I have found the addiction and the addict annoying.  Having never suffered from a true addiction I can’t wrap my head around it. I can’t understand why they just can’t stop, why they are so selfish. How can your addiction be more important than your job? More important than your money? More important than your home? More important than your family? More important than me?!
Like I said, I don’t get it. It’s not something I have struggled with. When I wanted to quit smoking I did. It took a a time or two to take but it wasn’t what I would describe as hard.   When I didn’t like what drugs were doing to my life, I stopped.  I had reached a bad place and decided that I needed to change or I was going to have an awful life. It was really pretty much that easy.  I am not a better person, this is not an indictment of addicts, it’s just that it’s outside of my experience.
So when I started looking for quotes about addiction this morning I didn’t really know what I was looking for.  But as I read quote after quote, story after story I was struck profoundly by one thought … compassion is the only countermeasure for addiction.   It doesn’t matter if I get it or if I am put out by it. The only thing that matters is that we don’t give up on loving the people who need it the most.

sum-sum-sum it up!

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Holy Poop! How did it get to be Sunday already?

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Freezing Cold Monday Morning

Monday kicked off DEEP FREEZE week in Nova Scotia. Every year we have a week like this but every year we seem to forget and it feels worse. Mixed with the snow and the bleak sky on Monday it felt like to coldest darkest LONGEST day of the year. Turns out it was ACTUALLY Blue Monday so I was well within my rights to feel crappy!  As I have said I am having a much easier time this year with my S.A.D for which I am very grateful. I was worried that this would be a bad year because of Lulu, my leg and my brother.  Instead I feel like I am calm and in control most of the time. I like it!

Tuesday was weigh in day and HuuuuHaaa!! I was down again. I am so happy, each success builds more confidence and makes it easier to keep making good choices.   In the evening I got to finally go see Les Mis with some of my homegirls.  It was SO good, I have loved Les Mis for more than 2 decades. I have seen productions of it in three cities, on two continents. I have known every word since the 9th grade.  It is a passion that my brother Stephen and I have shared. I have always wanted to see a movie made that did justice to the work and I am pleased that this one did.    In addition when I got home on from the movie I had an email from big brother Mike.  Tuesday is quickly becoming my favorite day!

Wednesday was even more freezing than the days before. I spent most of the day battling a slamming headache and came right home after work and crawled into bed.  That’s All!

Thursday the headache continued but I plowed through work and went to my physio appointment. Is it weird that I have actually started to look forward to these torture sessions? I work hard and I do everything that Julie says. Sometimes it hurts, more often than not it’s uncomfortable. But it is clearly working, Thursday she liberated me from my walking cast, at least at home. We celebrated that night with fast food. Some habit die harder than others.  😉

Friday was low key, work was quiet so I actually got some stuff done. I like it when I get to follow up on stuff that has been sitting on my desk for too long. I even cleaned my desk which, trust me, was very needed.  It was so cold I drank about 4 cups of tea. I have been trying to slowly give up Diet Coke and it seems that I have been replacing it with green tea. I suppose there are worst addictions. Friday night I flaked out on Aimee’s sofa and we geeked out. It was a nice way to end the week. 

Saturday I declared the day it SELFISH MEGHAN DAY! I often find my weekend totally eaten up by errands and social engagements to the point where I feel almost as burnt out by the weekend as I do on Friday afternoon.  I needed at least one day of this weekend to do only exactly what I wanted to do. I don’t know what a day like that would look like for YOU but for me it meant sleeping in until 9am (yes, that IS sleeping in) and staying in my PJ’s for the whole day. I watched almost a whole season on Law & Order SVU (prepare for weird dreams) I had major snuggles with my pups, drank my weight in Diet Coke (oops) took a lot of pictures. I learned how to poach an egg, I cleaned out both hall closets top to bottom, I vacuumed the sofa’s and the living room floor. I found the lost treasure of my dining room table with was buried under a mountain of crap. I read several months worth of a cool new blog I found. I used some gift cards I won from work to order in dinner from Swiss Chalet. I was mean to my husband because he has a cold and my brand of tough love believes you can bully cold germs into submission. Then I crawled into bed early. It was a perfect day!

Today is Sunday. Because bullying cold germs is actually pretty ineffectual I woke up with my husband’s cold. That’s how we roll.  Bwahaha!   I had to cancel plans that I was really looking forward to but I was not up to much beyond the sofa but I did take the unforeseen opportunity to catch up on some much needed laundry time. I’ll be crawling into bed any moment now and tomorrow we’ll start it all over again.  

 

Wisdom on Wednesday – On my mind…

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My theory is that men are no more liberated than women.  ~Indira Gandhi

Lately the men in my life have been on my mind. I am fortunate to be have so many good men around me. The men I know aren’t “macho”, they are not Lads or Bogans, they are smart, funny loyal and just broken enough to have character. I watch them with their wives or partners or kids and I see men of such breadth and depth; and then I see them interact with EACH OTHER and I wonder “Are these the same men?”

I started thinking about it when I was began reading The Two Gentlemen of Verona. In the opening act two men great each other with such open affection, such warmth that I found it actually shocking.  I know that this is fiction and that we are talking a vastly different period of time but it was still enough to get my noodle to thinking, do men have it easier?   It has long been my premise that in the grand scheme of things men got the better end of the stick. I had a slew of evidence in my favour and would have been prepared to make one of my great lists. But those two damn gentlemen in Verona gave me pause.  When I see a girl friend of my I throw my arms around her, I give her a kiss, I tell her how wonderful she looks. When we get together we talk about what’s hurting us, what’s helping us, we laugh and we cry. When we cry at the movies no one questions us. No one busts our chops when we feel insecure or anxious.

Maybe the guys talk to each other differently when we women aren’t around. Maybe they say “Hey, you are looking healthy these days, you goin’ to the gym?” or “I am really stressed about my aging parents, I don’t know what to do?”   I hope that is the case but I don’t it.  From what I have been able to glean the boys I love talk about video games, movies and geek stuff.  I love my boys, each and everyone of them but I don’t want to join their club, I like the one I’m in, it’s very liberating.

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Try something new Tuesday – Phat!

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Oh lord have mercy! What did I do?  I needed something quick and easy to make tonight because I had to be out early. I found THIS recipe on Pinterest and thought “hey why not?” I made a few mistakes on this one. 

Mistake #1  I didn’t check to see that I had everything on hand.  I went and got all the ‘important’ things but I ran out of honey and soy sauce because I took for granted that they would be in my cupboard.  I ended up using a bit of peanut butter to make up for the stuff I didn’t have. 

Mistake # 2 I didn’t run the recipe through my Weight Watchers program to see how many points it would be. It rang in at almost a whooping 20 points per serving. So to all my friends watching their waistline I say stay away from this one. It is tasty but NOT tasty enough to be worth the calories.  I won’t be making this one again. 

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