I had to stop by Tony’s tonight to grab tickets for my high school reunion. You can’t go to Tony’s and not eat a donair.
He was never really a part of my life. He was gone from the picture before my memories really started forming and the time we spent together in my adult life you can probably compress into a month. I didn’t invite him to my wedding, There is no mention of me in his obituary. We were well and truly disconnected. There have been so many hurts it doesn’t seem possible that I could find peace but somehow I have. I find peace in remembering how he took his coffee, what brand of cigarettes he bought. I find peace in remembering he was good with his hands and he liked to tinker with electronics. I find grace in knowing I have his mother’s nose. I find solace in knowing he was cared for by his friends and his neighbours.
I can’t change the past and though I wish it had been different, our relationship was what it was. I let go of anger and resentment a long time ago. He was my father and today would have been his 76th birthday and I grateful for his life because without him there would be no me. Thank you Jim.