Dudes. I have to be honest with you. I am just not a vegetarian. The first few days weren’t so bad but as I got into summer weekend BBQ season … I am sorry but I just can’t say no!! I like meat and with a burning case of moral outrage to spurn me on… I just can’t do it. Maybe it is because I want to really enjoy summer before I have my operation and recovery but I just want to stuff as much summer into the next 5 weeks. Right now that means that my 12 in 12 this month is just not going to fly. I don’t know what else I am going to do and I am not giving up for the whole year but… yeah, I am going to be BBQing burgers for dinner tomorrow night, and I am gointo to put bacon on them. Peace out homies!
So the first two days of June have been a big success. To be fair I put a lot of effort into planning this weeks meals, every meal is planned and the groceries already shopped. I would have been a great Boy Scout… Be Prepared!
Tonight on the way home I realized I needed to pick up a pie crust to my quiche. I make a MEAN quiche but I can’t for the life of me get pie crust down so I am content to cheat with a TenderCrust. I was in a hurry to get home so I flew into the store and grabbed the box I always do and just as I was turning away from the freezer a different box caught my eye, it said “All Vegetable Shortening”.
Sure enough the box I was going to buy had Lard listed a the second ingredient. It never would have occurred to me to check the label of a pie crust, NEVER.
So when I got home I started to do some research on products that have animal in them, what there super secret sneaky names are and then I made a list (oh yeah baby!)
It turns out my yogurt also has gelatin in it. Next time ’round I will try and find one without but for now I paid the money for what I have an I am not going to waste it. So it turns out that that grocery shopping is not as straight forward as steering clear of the butcher shop. This isn’t really a surprise but I am going to have to decide where my line in the sand is and then start reading before I buy.
When I was hatching my plans to do 12 in 12 the very first thing on my list was to go vegetarian for a month. Don’t get me wrong, I love meat and I don’t think that I could ever switch forever but vegetarianism is certainly something I have always been interested in. I have certainly had my share of exposure over the years, many of my close friends are or have been vegetarian.
So here is how it will break down for the next month.
1.I will be following a ovo-lacto vegetarian diet. Which means I will still be eating eggs and dairy but abstaining from eating any animal flesh with the exception of on meal a week which will include fish. I know this is not consider “true vegetarianism” in some circles but I refused to be pigeon holed by other peoples ideals.
2. I will try and educate myself in veggie issues. I have no moral stance about meat or meat eating but I will do some reading on the subject and share the process with you. I promise not to preach at all.
3. I will live like a vegetarian, which means learning to read labels to find hidden animal products and see what challenges vegetarians face eating out.
4. My husband is free to eat whatever he wants, I never force him to participate in my crazy ideas but I am only making one meal at dinner so if he wants meat he has to fend for himself.
5. I will eat try and eat as well rounded meals as I can. I know lots of vegetarians who eat crappy diets. PB&J for a month won’t cut it. I need meals that make me feel satisfied and healthy.
Ohai Veggies! Let’s be friends!!!
Well to date May has been my most successful month, I only missed ONE day. I must really like talking to you guys! I feel very proud of all those red X’s. I am looking forward to tomorrow and revealing what the next month has in store for me. Thanks to everyone who took the time to read this last month. You Ma’h Peeps Yo!
Well Saturday started with much promise, took a big dip into crappy town in the middle but was saved with an awesome ending.
The first hour of the day was spent snuggling puppies, drinking tea and watching Walking With Dinosaurs. It doesn’t get a lot better than that. When Gilly got up we went to my office to clean the fish’s water and then we hit the market for a new mint plant for our summer mojitos and Nomad Gourmet for chicken and waffles (damn yo! SO GOOD!) Then we went to pick up my new glasses and we stopped into Giant Robot where Gil bought me a pair of PINKIE PIE SOCKS!!! I plan on wearing this little gems into my surgery, They have a definitive good luck vibe. From there we hit Home Depot, we are redoing all the front flower beds this summer and we need LOTS of supplies. I had so much fun picking stuff out, but a headache was starting to creep in. We stopped for lunch at Cha Baa Thai and I had a grand feed of masaman curry which was amazing but by the time we left the headache had taken full root and we still had to hit the SuperStore for groceries and the garden center. Somewhere between the produce section and the cash register the headache turned me into a heinous bitch and I just wanted to get home. We grabbed out mulch and got back to the house as quick as we could but by then it was just too late, I took some Advil and prayed the headache would abate. I ended up sleeping for three hours which totally cut into all the house work and yard work I had planned, and worse the headache was still not gone but we had dinner plans I didn’t want to cancel because we had a really hard time finding time to meet up with these friends so I had a shower and just sucked it up.
So I know it sounds like the beginning of a joke but tonight I had dinner with a doctor, a PhD physicist and a EMT with a recently acquired Masters chemistry degree, oh and my genius husband was there too. I try not to think about the number of degree’s and sheer amount of education sitting at that table or I would never be able to open my mouth to join the conversation. These people are my friends, I love them and I know they don’t care that the last level of schooling I saw to completion was high school, but if I spent too much time thinking about it I would feel so dumb. We had a beautiful meal, homemade pasta and sauce, salad, homemade bread, lovely Italian wine, chocolate and strawberry stuffed crepes. Then we shared some of the coffee Gil and I brought home from Cuba and Louis and broke open one of our special bottles of Cuban rum. Somewhere around my second glass of wine my headache diminished enough that I knew I would at least make it through the evening. The food was incredible, the conversation got my neurons firing and I allowed my self to be a guinea pig for Louis’ creative bar-tending. Altogether is was a lovely, success of an evening.
Tomorrow I will try and make up for all the cleaning and gardening that didn’t get done today. I hope that if the cause of the headache is my new glasses it resolves it’s self soon. I have better things to do than mope about with a cracking skull. Life waits for no one and certainly for no headache!
My friend Floyd was talking today about the impact of Negative Attachment on our lives and our mental health. This kind of Negative Attachment is an attachment to a negative thought or idea, something that pushes us, drives us, controls us. This idea that attachment causes suffering is not a new one, it was one of the basic tenants of Buddhism, the Four Noble Truths. It is hard to imagine how that applies to the big picture, what it means to our real lives. Floyd’s suggestion is that personalizing the attachment, speaking it, helps. I was amazed at how people opened up about this in the ensuing Facebook feed. There was a lot of talk about ideas of perfection and control which I am starting to view as pretty much a universal norm, certainly with the majority of me female friends, although I think the guys suffer from it too, just less openly. Floyd suggested starting with the statement “My attachment to the idea that…is causing me suffering” and going from there and let me tell you once I had the opening salvo the rest of it just kept pouring out. It is amazing really how much of my self view is from the dark side of the looking glass. But for me the statement with the most resonance was this “My attachment to the idea that if people really knew the REAL me they wouldn’t like me is causing me suffering.” What an awful thought to have about one’s self. It is time for letting go of perfectionism, it is time let go of self flagellation and doubt. I don’t know where to start but I know that it’s time. If I continue living so that other people will think I am smart or funny or worthy then I am never going to find the kind of happiness that I am looking for. If a person doesn’t like me because I don’t have a degree, or where I work or because I am over weight that says more about them than about me. Now if I can only convince my heart the same thing. What is your negative attachment? Where are you going to start in turning that around?
There are two kinds of people in the world. There are people like my husband, people we call Nature’s Sleepers. These people have the skill of sleeping down pat. They can sleep in, turn in early, nap, sleep through the night, they can sleep on the sofa or the plane on in hotel. This doesn’t mean that they never get over tired or have a bad nights sleep, it’s just that on the whole they are a well rested bunch.
Then there are the people like ME…
A Very Tired Girl
People like me haven’t had more than a handful of good sleeps in 39 years. I remember suffering from insomnia back when I was a wee little lass, even before I knew what that word was. Any disruption in my schedule sends my circadian rhythm into a nose dive. I almost never sleep all the way through the night. It takes me AGES to fall asleep. I am crap at sleeping in even when I have the time and I when I nap I usually end up more tired and cranky. When I was a kid and I had a hard time sleeping I would change my orientation in the bed, head to feet, diagonal or side to side across the bed and that would often be enough of a change to help me. That is MUCH harder when you share a bed with someone else. I feel like the Princess and the pea but I have never found the pea in my bed. I did go to a sleep hygiene therapist many years ago when my inability to sleep was taking a rather profound effect on my mental health and I KNOW good habits that make things a bit better bit it is getting a good cycle going that is hard. While I have been sick the last few weeks my schedule has been shot to hell and it is making me a bit nutty at the moment. Add to that the beginning of Fog Horn season and we have a recipe of weepy disaster. With that in mind I am going to try and be proactive in the coming weeks, set me self a bed time and stick to it. Do a little bed time meditation or yoga; use my black out drapes to the early morning light isn’t getting my body out of bed before it’s time. There isn’t much I can do about the fog horn but if the rest of my sleep is quality maybe it won’t matter so much.
Good night, sweet dreams! See you in Jeamland.