Category Archives: 25 Things

January 7th – plan plan plan

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There is some serious planning going on right now. I have a little project I am working on that has me super jazzed. I have had a great few days with heaps of energy and my mood has been high. I love having something to look for to, I love making plans. Stay tuned for more as things get even more awesome.

25 Things…. Oh no she didn’t?! Oh YES she DID!!!!

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If you are new to my bog and have never heard about the “25 things that fat girls should not do”  and want to know that this all about or if you just need a quick reminder here is a quick synopsis from my all time favorite blogger Jess – The Militant Baker!

“25 Things Fat People Shouldn’t Do is an unabashed middle finger to the preposterous idea that any human who weighs more than the status quo does not deserve to live a full and well rounded (ahem) life. The list of 25 is composed word for word from direct lists of sheer assholery found on the internet. These range from the absurd to the profoundly shameful, and I will be disproving this offensive notion with style. Feel free to join in on the fun, and if you do, link at the bottom so I can share. May the Chub Club live long and prosper!”

The List 

  1. Do a cannonball
  2. Swing at the park
  3. Wear a bikini
  4. Drive
  5. Wear animal print
  6. Eat in public
  7. Wear shirts with glitter
  8. Ride a scooter
  9. Make art of themselves
  10. Shimmy
  11. Jump in an elevator
  12. Be straight
  13. Wear an ironic t-shirt
  14. Go to the movies
  15. Walk through a doorway
  16. Roll down a hill
  17. Run
  18. Go to bars
  19. fly in an airplane
  20. Sit on anything plastic
  21. Dance
  22. Wear a mumu
  23. Sit at a booth
  24. Ride a bike
  25. Live

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Well I won’t lie, this was a pretty hard challenge for me. If it weren’t for the list, honestly I likely wouldn’t own a bikini. Yes, I bought it for SPITE!! I love it, it is super comfy and I feel very cute in it.  But posting this makes me feel…. exposed. Although since we are being frank it is less to do which the fact that I am in a bikini and more to do with the fact that you can see ALL of me.  It’s obvious why this is on the list, the people that made it think I should be embarrassed of my body and that I should hide as much of it as possible. Well screw that. I might be uncomfortable, I might make other people uncomfortable but I am going to keep pushing boundaries until I don’t feel that way anymore. I am an awesome human being and this bikini is hella cool. ‘Nuff said!

FLY FAT GIRL FLY! 25 Thing… In Motion

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Hello there!!! Is your first time visiting me at the Paper Jockey? Are you a little taken back by the subject of this post? If you are new to the neighborhood and want to know that this all about or even if you just need a reminder here is a quick synopsis from my favorite blogger Jess – The Militant Baker!

“25 Things Fat People Shouldn’t Do is an unabashed middle finger to the preposterous idea that any human who weighs more than the status quo does not deserve to live a full and well rounded (ahem) life. The list of 25 is composed word for word from direct lists of sheer assholery found on the internet. These range from the absurd to the profoundly shameful, and I will be disproving this offensive notion with style. Feel free to join in on the fun, and if you do, link at the bottom so I can share. May the Chub Club live long and prosper!”

The List 

  1. Do a cannonball
  2. Swing at the park
  3. Wear a bikini
  4. Drive
  5. Wear animal print
  6. Eat in public
  7. Wear shirts with glitter
  8. Ride a scooter
  9. Make art of themselves
  10. Shimmy
  11. Jump in an elevator
  12. Be straight
  13. Wear an ironic t-shirt
  14. Go to the movies
  15. Walk through a doorway
  16. Roll down a hill
  17. Run
  18. Go to bars
  19. fly in an airplane
  20. Sit on anything plastic
  21. Dance
  22. Wear a mumu
  23. Sit at a booth
  24. Ride a bike
  25. Live

swing

You know when I first saw this picture my husband took of me I cringed. I saw every single part of my body that I have a hard time loving. But I stepped away from it and tried really hard to look at myself as a strange and you know what I saw? That giant shit eating grin.  You can’t fake that kind of joy.  I got on that swing and 30 years fell off my life, my legs were pumping and I was flying and I was 10 years old without a care in the world. I don’t want things like tummy rolls and double chins to keep me, or anyone else from having these kind of experiences. I read something the other day that said “Fat is something you have, not something you are”  it was a great article, you can read it here, after you are done reading me of course.  I am a good person, a successful human by most measures, I am funny and smart and have amazing friends. I like myself and I love my life and that means I have to stop treating myself as less than just because I have more than!

25 Things – How I Roll, Chub Club Edition

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If this is your first time visiting my blog or if you thing the title of this post is offensive or even if you just need a reminder here is a quick synopsis from my favorite blogger Jess – The Militant Baker!

“25 Things Fat People Shouldn’t Do is an unabashed middle finger to the preposterous idea that any human who weighs more than the status quo does not deserve to live a full and well rounded (ahem) life. The list of 25 is composed word for word from direct lists of sheer assholery found on the internet. These range from the absurd to the profoundly shameful, and I will be disproving this offensive notion with style. Feel free to join in on the fun, and if you do, link at the bottom so I can share. May the Chub Club live long and prosper!”

The List 

  1. Do a cannonball
  2. Swing at the park
  3. Wear a bikini
  4. Drive
  5. Wear animal print
  6. Eat in public
  7. Wear shirts with glitter
  8. Ride a scooter
  9. Make art of themselves
  10. Shimmy
  11. Jump in an elevator
  12. Be straight
  13. Wear an ironic t-shirt
  14. Go to the movies
  15. Walk through a doorway
  16. Roll down a hill
  17. Run
  18. Go to bars
  19. fly in an airplane
  20. Sit on anything plastic
  21. Dance
  22. Wear a mumu
  23. Sit at a booth
  24. Ride a bike
  25. Live

rollBaby, that’s just how I roll…. with my rolls!!  I haven’t rolled down a hill in many a decade, I had totally forgotten how fun it could be. I would like to thank the jackasses who made this list for giving me to motivation to tap into my inner child and roll down a hill with wild abandon. My girl friends waited for me at the bottom of the hill cheering me on I felt awesome and silly and dizzy, it was fantastic.  Screw you haters, I am having a really grand time proving you wrong!

25 THINGS – BIG SCREEN FATTY

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If this is your first time visiting my blog or if you thing the title of this post is offensive or even if you just need a reminder here is a quick synopsis from my favorite blogger Jess – The Militant Baker!

“25 Things Fat People Shouldn’t Do is an unabashed middle finger to the preposterous idea that any human who weighs more than the status quo does not deserve to live a full and well rounded (ahem) life. The list of 25 is composed word for word from direct lists of sheer assholery found on the internet. These range from the absurd to the profoundly shameful, and I will be disproving this offensive notion with style. Feel free to join in on the fun, and if you do, link at the bottom so I can share. May the Chub Club live long and prosper!”

The List 

  1. Do a cannonball
  2. Swing at the park
  3. Wear a bikini
  4. Drive
  5. Wear animal print
  6. Eat in public
  7. Wear shirts with glitter
  8. Ride a scooter
  9. Make art of themselves
  10. Shimmy
  11. Jump in an elevator
  12. Be straight
  13. Wear an ironic t-shirt
  14. Go to the movies
  15. Walk through a doorway
  16. Roll down a hill
  17. Run
  18. Go to bars
  19. fly in an airplane
  20. Sit on anything plastic
  21. Dance
  22. Wear a mumu
  23. Sit at a booth
  24. Ride a bike
  25. Live

movies

Well I can totally understand this one…. I mean you wouldn’t want my giant fat body blocking that little tiny movie screen! Or maybe my plus sized laughter might drown out the sound of the THX surround sound!

Face it folks! theater seats are more comfortable than airplanes these days, Hell, the ones in Bayers Lake even rock. Nothing about my weight is going to impact the enjoyment of any cinematic master pieces so just eat your popcorn and M&M already!

25 Thing – You Drive Me Crazy Fatty!

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If you are reading for the first time and the subject of this post alarms you, or if you just need a reminder here is a quick synopsis from my favorite blogger Jess – The Militant Baker!

“25 Things Fat People Shouldn’t Do is an unabashed middle finger to the preposterous idea that any human who weighs more than the status quo does not deserve to live a full and well rounded (ahem) life. The list of 25 is composed word for word from direct lists of sheer assholery found on the internet. These range from the absurd to the profoundly shameful, and I will be disproving this offensive notion with style. Feel free to join in on the fun, and if you do, link at the bottom so I can share. May the Chub Club live long and prosper!”

The List 

  1. Do a cannonball
  2. Swing at the park
  3. Wear a bikini
  4. Drive
  5. Wear animal print
  6. Eat in public
  7. Wear shirts with glitter
  8. Ride a scooter
  9. Make art of themselves
  10. Shimmy
  11. Jump in an elevator
  12. Be straight
  13. Wear an ironic t-shirt
  14. Go to the movies
  15. Walk through a doorway
  16. Roll down a hill
  17. Run
  18. Go to bars
  19. fly in an airplane
  20. Sit on anything plastic
  21. Dance
  22. Wear a mumu
  23. Sit at a booth
  24. Ride a bike
  25. Live

Driving

I waited a long time to learn to drive, until my late 30’s, but now that I have that freedom I could not image ever giving it up. When I look at this list I sometimes try and rationalize what may have prompted something to be added to it. I know it is stupid the list was clearly created by absolute idiots but still, my brain likes to apply order to chaos. My weight has no impact on my ability to drive, as you can see I fit behind the wheel just fine, my seat belt fits just fine. I don’t take up any more room on the road.  I love driving, I love going fast with my tunes cranked especially when I am by myself with no agenda. Sorry haters but this big booty babe won’t be leaving the roads any time soon.

25 Things – Ironic? Well not exactly.

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If you are reading for the first time and the subject of this post alarms you, or if you just need a reminder here is a quick synopsis from my favorite blogger Jess – The Militant Baker!

“25 Things Fat People Shouldn’t Do is an unabashed middle finger to the preposterous idea that any human who weighs more than the status quo does not deserve to live a full and well rounded (ahem) life. The list of 25 is composed word for word from direct lists of sheer assholery found on the internet. These range from the absurd to the profoundly shameful, and I will be disproving this offensive notion with style. Feel free to join in on the fun, and if you do, link at the bottom so I can share. May the Chub Club live long and prosper!”

The List 

  1. Do a cannonball
  2. Swing at the park
  3. Wear a bikini
  4. Drive
  5. Wear animal print
  6. Eat in public
  7. Wear shirts with glitter
  8. Ride a scooter
  9. Make art of themselves
  10. Shimmy
  11. Jump in an elevator
  12. Be straight
  13. Wear an ironic t-shirt
  14. Go to the movies
  15. Walk through a doorway
  16. Roll down a hill
  17. Run
  18. Go to bars
  19. fly in an airplane
  20. Sit on anything plastic
  21. Dance
  22. Wear a mumu
  23. Sit at a booth
  24. Ride a bike
  25. Live.

Ironic happening in the opposite way to what is expected, and typically causing wry amusement because of this.

I have to tell you that I struggled with finding an ironic shirt. I am not even sure what an ironic shirt should say so instead I went out and found me a shirt that I hope says “Screw that haters I love myself anyway!!”

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I wore my shirt with joy and pride as my hubby and I were out and about today. I wore it to get coffee, to watch #HFXJugger and to get groceries. I noticed a few looks but mostly people wanted to know where the could get their own. Here by the way, along with loads of other cute ones.

25 Things! Hey Fat Girl…Take a Seat!

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If you are reading for the first time and the subject of this post alarms you, or if you just need a reminder here is a quick synopsis from my favorite blogger Jess – The Militant Baker!

“25 Things Fat People Shouldn’t Do is an unabashed middle finger to the preposterous idea that any human who weighs more than the status quo does not deserve to live a full and well rounded (ahem) life. The list of 25 is composed word for word from direct lists of sheer assholery found on the internet. These range from the absurd to the profoundly shameful, and I will be disproving this offensive notion with style. Feel free to join in on the fun, and if you do, link at the bottom so I can share. May the Chub Club live long and prosper!”

The List 

  1. Do a cannonball
  2. Swing at the park
  3. Wear a bikini
  4. Drive
  5. Wear animal print
  6. Eat in public
  7. Wear shirts with glitter
  8. Ride a scooter
  9. Make art of themselves
  10. Shimmy
  11. Jump in an elevator
  12. Be straight
  13. Wear an ironic t-shirt
  14. Go to the movies
  15. Walk through a doorway
  16. Roll down a hill
  17. Run
  18. Go to bars
  19. fly in an airplane
  20. Sit on anything plastic
  21. Dance
  22. Wear a mumu
  23. Sit at a booth
  24. Ride a bike
  25. Live.

booth.jpg

Let’s be honest. Sometimes, for those of us with a little extra junk in the trunk, the booth can be a scary thing. They don’t come in a standard size, sometimes they CAN be a little snug. But it is certainly not the norm. I can assure you that I regularly and happily sit in a booth in fact I prefer a booth, I love lounging, I am a lounger!  So sorry list making morons, you lose yet again. Better luck next time.

Live From Toronto – 25 Things Fat People Shouldn’t Do!

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Good morning boys and girls! Welcome to my blog from beautiful and VERY VERY COLD Toronto Ontario. If you are reading for the first time and the subject of this post alarms you, or if you just need a reminder here is a quick synopsis from my favorite blogger Jess – The Militant Baker!

“25 Things Fat People Shouldn’t Do is an unabashed middle finger to the preposterous idea that any human who weighs more than the status quo does not deserve to live a full and well rounded (ahem) life. The list of 25 is composed word for word from direct lists of sheer assholery found on the internet. These range from the absurd to the profoundly shameful, and I will be disproving this offensive notion with style. Feel free to join in on the fun, and if you do, link at the bottom so I can share. May the Chub Club live long and prosper!”

The List 

  1. Do a cannonball
  2. Swing at the park
  3. Wear a bikini
  4. Drive
  5. Wear animal print
  6. Eat in public
  7. Wear shirts with glitter
  8. Ride a scooter
  9. Make art of themselves
  10. Shimmy
  11. Jump in an elevator
  12. Be straight
  13. Wear an ironic t-shirt
  14. Go to the movies
  15. Walk through a doorway
  16. Roll down a hill
  17. Run
  18. Go to bars
  19. fly in an airplane
  20. Sit on anything plastic
  21. Dance
  22. Wear a mumu
  23. Sit at a booth
  24. Ride a bike
  25. Live.

Well, I didn’t get to Toronto by horse and buggy, much fun as that would have been, and Aimee veto’d driving so we arrived on Thursday afternoon via AIR PLANE.  I can only hypothesize that the original creators of the list were worried that my extra 50 pounds would bring a plane crashing down from the sky.  Or that in having to share the recycled air with a fatty might make them fat too (it’s contagious isn’t it?!)  OR in those great big, giant, comfy airplane seats my fat elbow might touch theirs.  Truth be told I have had my share of issues flying but usually it has nothing to do with the above reasons although I do worry about the seat belt after Kevin Smith’s “Too Fat To Fly” incident. But once I am safely seated I have never once worried that my fat ass will be the cause of my firey demise (in my head it is usually mechanical failure) nor have I ever had anyone complain about me or voice any concern about having me on the plane (unless they don’t like my crying and Hail Mary’s, I am sure some people don’t like that!)

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Oh look how calm and sweet I look!

For your viewing pleasure this is a more accurate representation of how I was feeling…..

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and that is only because my best friend is too kind to take pictures of me when I look like …

woman-crying-hysterically-526

25 Things Fat People Shouldn’t Do – My Militant Baker List with GLITTER!!!!

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If you have read my blog before you probably know about the 25 things but if not here is a quick synopsis from my favorite blogger Jess – The Militant Baker!

“25 Things Fat People Shouldn’t Do is an unabashed middle finger to the preposterous idea that any human who weighs more than the status quo does not deserve to live a full and well rounded (ahem) life. The list of 25 is composed word for word from direct lists of sheer assholery found on the internet. These range from the absurd to the profoundly shameful, and I will be disproving this offensive notion with style. Feel free to join in on the fun, and if you do, link at the bottom so I can share. May the Chub Club live long and prosper!”

 

The List 

  1. Do a cannonball
  2. Swing at the park
  3. Wear a bikini
  4. Drive
  5. Wear animal print
  6. Eat in public
  7. Wear shirts with glitter
  8. Ride a scooter
  9. Make art of themselves
  10. Shimmy
  11. Jump in an elevator
  12. Be straight
  13. Wear an ironic t-shirt
  14. Go to the movies
  15. Walk through a doorway
  16. Roll down a hill
  17. Run
  18. Go to bars
  19. fly in an airplane
  20. Sit on anything plastic
  21. Dance
  22. Wear a mumu
  23. Sit at a booth
  24. Ride a bike
  25. Live.

When I did my last post back in January my friend Mark D. really jumped on # 7.  the glitter shirt. It became our funny in joke and then he started me sending me links to tutorials for making my own glitter shirt… so this weekend that is just what I did!!

shirt

 

There! I even worse it into the office today so Mark could see it.  I am pleased with my first effort of t-shirt painting and I think there may be more of this in my future, yay crafty Meg!  Special thanks to my husband and his help with the stencil cutting, he has the hands of surgeon, he keeps them in his craft room. 😉

So what will I strike off my list next?? I have some thoughts, how about you?