Category Archives: Body Love

25 Things…. Oh no she didn’t?! Oh YES she DID!!!!

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If you are new to my bog and have never heard about the “25 things that fat girls should not do”  and want to know that this all about or if you just need a quick reminder here is a quick synopsis from my all time favorite blogger Jess – The Militant Baker!

“25 Things Fat People Shouldn’t Do is an unabashed middle finger to the preposterous idea that any human who weighs more than the status quo does not deserve to live a full and well rounded (ahem) life. The list of 25 is composed word for word from direct lists of sheer assholery found on the internet. These range from the absurd to the profoundly shameful, and I will be disproving this offensive notion with style. Feel free to join in on the fun, and if you do, link at the bottom so I can share. May the Chub Club live long and prosper!”

The List 

  1. Do a cannonball
  2. Swing at the park
  3. Wear a bikini
  4. Drive
  5. Wear animal print
  6. Eat in public
  7. Wear shirts with glitter
  8. Ride a scooter
  9. Make art of themselves
  10. Shimmy
  11. Jump in an elevator
  12. Be straight
  13. Wear an ironic t-shirt
  14. Go to the movies
  15. Walk through a doorway
  16. Roll down a hill
  17. Run
  18. Go to bars
  19. fly in an airplane
  20. Sit on anything plastic
  21. Dance
  22. Wear a mumu
  23. Sit at a booth
  24. Ride a bike
  25. Live

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Well I won’t lie, this was a pretty hard challenge for me. If it weren’t for the list, honestly I likely wouldn’t own a bikini. Yes, I bought it for SPITE!! I love it, it is super comfy and I feel very cute in it.  But posting this makes me feel…. exposed. Although since we are being frank it is less to do which the fact that I am in a bikini and more to do with the fact that you can see ALL of me.  It’s obvious why this is on the list, the people that made it think I should be embarrassed of my body and that I should hide as much of it as possible. Well screw that. I might be uncomfortable, I might make other people uncomfortable but I am going to keep pushing boundaries until I don’t feel that way anymore. I am an awesome human being and this bikini is hella cool. ‘Nuff said!

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FLY FAT GIRL FLY! 25 Thing… In Motion

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Hello there!!! Is your first time visiting me at the Paper Jockey? Are you a little taken back by the subject of this post? If you are new to the neighborhood and want to know that this all about or even if you just need a reminder here is a quick synopsis from my favorite blogger Jess – The Militant Baker!

“25 Things Fat People Shouldn’t Do is an unabashed middle finger to the preposterous idea that any human who weighs more than the status quo does not deserve to live a full and well rounded (ahem) life. The list of 25 is composed word for word from direct lists of sheer assholery found on the internet. These range from the absurd to the profoundly shameful, and I will be disproving this offensive notion with style. Feel free to join in on the fun, and if you do, link at the bottom so I can share. May the Chub Club live long and prosper!”

The List 

  1. Do a cannonball
  2. Swing at the park
  3. Wear a bikini
  4. Drive
  5. Wear animal print
  6. Eat in public
  7. Wear shirts with glitter
  8. Ride a scooter
  9. Make art of themselves
  10. Shimmy
  11. Jump in an elevator
  12. Be straight
  13. Wear an ironic t-shirt
  14. Go to the movies
  15. Walk through a doorway
  16. Roll down a hill
  17. Run
  18. Go to bars
  19. fly in an airplane
  20. Sit on anything plastic
  21. Dance
  22. Wear a mumu
  23. Sit at a booth
  24. Ride a bike
  25. Live

swing

You know when I first saw this picture my husband took of me I cringed. I saw every single part of my body that I have a hard time loving. But I stepped away from it and tried really hard to look at myself as a strange and you know what I saw? That giant shit eating grin.  You can’t fake that kind of joy.  I got on that swing and 30 years fell off my life, my legs were pumping and I was flying and I was 10 years old without a care in the world. I don’t want things like tummy rolls and double chins to keep me, or anyone else from having these kind of experiences. I read something the other day that said “Fat is something you have, not something you are”  it was a great article, you can read it here, after you are done reading me of course.  I am a good person, a successful human by most measures, I am funny and smart and have amazing friends. I like myself and I love my life and that means I have to stop treating myself as less than just because I have more than!

25 Things – How I Roll, Chub Club Edition

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If this is your first time visiting my blog or if you thing the title of this post is offensive or even if you just need a reminder here is a quick synopsis from my favorite blogger Jess – The Militant Baker!

“25 Things Fat People Shouldn’t Do is an unabashed middle finger to the preposterous idea that any human who weighs more than the status quo does not deserve to live a full and well rounded (ahem) life. The list of 25 is composed word for word from direct lists of sheer assholery found on the internet. These range from the absurd to the profoundly shameful, and I will be disproving this offensive notion with style. Feel free to join in on the fun, and if you do, link at the bottom so I can share. May the Chub Club live long and prosper!”

The List 

  1. Do a cannonball
  2. Swing at the park
  3. Wear a bikini
  4. Drive
  5. Wear animal print
  6. Eat in public
  7. Wear shirts with glitter
  8. Ride a scooter
  9. Make art of themselves
  10. Shimmy
  11. Jump in an elevator
  12. Be straight
  13. Wear an ironic t-shirt
  14. Go to the movies
  15. Walk through a doorway
  16. Roll down a hill
  17. Run
  18. Go to bars
  19. fly in an airplane
  20. Sit on anything plastic
  21. Dance
  22. Wear a mumu
  23. Sit at a booth
  24. Ride a bike
  25. Live

rollBaby, that’s just how I roll…. with my rolls!!  I haven’t rolled down a hill in many a decade, I had totally forgotten how fun it could be. I would like to thank the jackasses who made this list for giving me to motivation to tap into my inner child and roll down a hill with wild abandon. My girl friends waited for me at the bottom of the hill cheering me on I felt awesome and silly and dizzy, it was fantastic.  Screw you haters, I am having a really grand time proving you wrong!

25 Thing – You Drive Me Crazy Fatty!

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If you are reading for the first time and the subject of this post alarms you, or if you just need a reminder here is a quick synopsis from my favorite blogger Jess – The Militant Baker!

“25 Things Fat People Shouldn’t Do is an unabashed middle finger to the preposterous idea that any human who weighs more than the status quo does not deserve to live a full and well rounded (ahem) life. The list of 25 is composed word for word from direct lists of sheer assholery found on the internet. These range from the absurd to the profoundly shameful, and I will be disproving this offensive notion with style. Feel free to join in on the fun, and if you do, link at the bottom so I can share. May the Chub Club live long and prosper!”

The List 

  1. Do a cannonball
  2. Swing at the park
  3. Wear a bikini
  4. Drive
  5. Wear animal print
  6. Eat in public
  7. Wear shirts with glitter
  8. Ride a scooter
  9. Make art of themselves
  10. Shimmy
  11. Jump in an elevator
  12. Be straight
  13. Wear an ironic t-shirt
  14. Go to the movies
  15. Walk through a doorway
  16. Roll down a hill
  17. Run
  18. Go to bars
  19. fly in an airplane
  20. Sit on anything plastic
  21. Dance
  22. Wear a mumu
  23. Sit at a booth
  24. Ride a bike
  25. Live

Driving

I waited a long time to learn to drive, until my late 30’s, but now that I have that freedom I could not image ever giving it up. When I look at this list I sometimes try and rationalize what may have prompted something to be added to it. I know it is stupid the list was clearly created by absolute idiots but still, my brain likes to apply order to chaos. My weight has no impact on my ability to drive, as you can see I fit behind the wheel just fine, my seat belt fits just fine. I don’t take up any more room on the road.  I love driving, I love going fast with my tunes cranked especially when I am by myself with no agenda. Sorry haters but this big booty babe won’t be leaving the roads any time soon.

25 Things – Ironic? Well not exactly.

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If you are reading for the first time and the subject of this post alarms you, or if you just need a reminder here is a quick synopsis from my favorite blogger Jess – The Militant Baker!

“25 Things Fat People Shouldn’t Do is an unabashed middle finger to the preposterous idea that any human who weighs more than the status quo does not deserve to live a full and well rounded (ahem) life. The list of 25 is composed word for word from direct lists of sheer assholery found on the internet. These range from the absurd to the profoundly shameful, and I will be disproving this offensive notion with style. Feel free to join in on the fun, and if you do, link at the bottom so I can share. May the Chub Club live long and prosper!”

The List 

  1. Do a cannonball
  2. Swing at the park
  3. Wear a bikini
  4. Drive
  5. Wear animal print
  6. Eat in public
  7. Wear shirts with glitter
  8. Ride a scooter
  9. Make art of themselves
  10. Shimmy
  11. Jump in an elevator
  12. Be straight
  13. Wear an ironic t-shirt
  14. Go to the movies
  15. Walk through a doorway
  16. Roll down a hill
  17. Run
  18. Go to bars
  19. fly in an airplane
  20. Sit on anything plastic
  21. Dance
  22. Wear a mumu
  23. Sit at a booth
  24. Ride a bike
  25. Live.

Ironic happening in the opposite way to what is expected, and typically causing wry amusement because of this.

I have to tell you that I struggled with finding an ironic shirt. I am not even sure what an ironic shirt should say so instead I went out and found me a shirt that I hope says “Screw that haters I love myself anyway!!”

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I wore my shirt with joy and pride as my hubby and I were out and about today. I wore it to get coffee, to watch #HFXJugger and to get groceries. I noticed a few looks but mostly people wanted to know where the could get their own. Here by the way, along with loads of other cute ones.

Weight and Happiness go together like… Peas and Nuclear weapons.

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I read this fantastic article today.  I have to tell you I have a MAD girl crush on this woman. Of course this topic about weight and happiness and self love and acceptance really got my little hamster ball working over time. What is the relationship between my spirit and my volume? Well I have not weighed my self in a long time. I don’t do that any more.  The doctor does once and a while but I don’t look at the numbers. I am probably the happiest now (in general) than I have ever been. I don’t think I am the most I have ever weighed but I am probably within a dozen pounds.  I don’t think I am happy BECAUSE I am fat. I think I am just happy and I happen to be fat. But I can tell you for sure at my thinnest I was absolutely the most miserable. Pictures of me at those times are few and far between because I was generally I giant effing mess. In my 20’s I was a lot like Matthew Perry, you could tell my mental state by dress size. At my thinnest I usually not sleeping, smoking a lot, depressed, anxious and possibly partaking in recreational pharmacology. Obviously I wasn’t unhappy because of my weight, but it was a side effect of much larger problems.

May03

I am happy now for a LOT of reasons. I like my life. I LOVE my friends. I am married to the greatest man on the planet who isn’t biologically related to me. And also because I have stopped viewing my body a the enemy. The parts of me that matter, they aren’t my jiggly thighs or my double chin. What makes me a good person has nothing to do with my breasts or the sway of my hips. My spirit isn’t diminished by my crows feet or the grey in my hair, and it isn’t tarnished by the number on the scale.  What makes me AWESOME, and I am, is what goes on between my ears. What makes me special has to do with my plus sized heart and soul. So I am just going to go on being happy. I am going to take care of the body I have because it is a gift to me, it is the ride that god gave my soul to get around in. I will not now or ever again hold myself to an arbitrary idea of what beautiful is. That is true happiness, that and sharing salted Caramel Pots de Creme with a friend, that’s true happiness too!