I heard that there was something interesting happening on TV tonight. I opted for the peace and tranquility of my colouring book because that deluded Oompa Loompa only infuriates me.
Listening // I have been listening to a lot Ani DiFranco the last little while. Which also makes me want to listen to the Stones and Joni.
Watching // I have recently started watching Chicago Fire. Hot firemen and super kickass grls! What’s not to like? I personally love a good procedural drama because I don’t have to think about it too much.
Reading // so much for that by Lionel Shriver. Honestly I admit I am having a little difficulty getting into it but I really loved the last book i read by Shriver to I am going ot but through the first few chapters to see if it grows on me.
Thinking About // Well that’s a loaded. I feel like my brain is in a bit of chaos today. I’ve had a few days of poor sleep and today I have a major league headache so I thinking about what I *should* be doing while I am laying bed feeling crummy.
Anticipating // The weekend. I can sleep in, go to the market, have dinner with friends and spend more time with my sweet fella.
I can’t think of anyone who doesn’t periodically have a poor night of sleep. It just happens, there are a million things and nothing to blame it on. Insomnia is not the same thing. Insomnia is a relentless foe who steals the very life from you… but I might be feeling a tad over dramatic, that happens when I am tired.
I am okay with a night of tossing and turning. After two nights I can be a bit cranky. Three of more nights and my mental health starts to take a deep nose dive. My whole body starts to ache, my emotions run at 175% and can’t concentrate on tasks for more than a few minutes at a time, let me assure that this does not make me better at my job. On top of that I start to crave crappy comfort food because, as I said, my emotions are running in hyper-drive and a seriously emotional eater.
This isn’t something that is new to me. I have had issues with my sleep basically most of my life. I remember being a wee little girl trying to explain that it wasn’t that I didn’t want to go to bed, it was that I really couldn’t sleep. You can imagine how well that was received. So I have become used to it. A couple of times a year the cycle starts, it almost seems as inevitable as the change of seasons. Many things can contribute to it, I am a light sleeper and my schedule is very easily thrown off. A change in hormones, stress, excitement, some air in the pipes, it doesn’t matter the cause, the result is the same. CRASH AND BURN. Many years ago when I was made aware how closely my sleep and my depression are tied I took some therapy to help with what is hysterically called sleep hygiene. Really it’s just good sleeping habits and I try and keep up with them. Of course I am not perfect and I usually remember all the important still when it is already too late. But for the last week or so I have been SUPER good and it is not helping at all. I have cut back the caffeine as much as that pains me, watching a LOT less TV which is a trigger for me and getting to bed at pretty decent hour. But here we are nonetheless. The good thing? I am really close to the crash, I can feel the cycle climaxing, I am nearing bug eating crazy, I know my body won’t put up with it much longer. I have been avoiding using any kind of sleep aid because I hate the way they make me feel the next day but tomorrow is Saturday, I don’t have to get up early and I am not on call so I am going to try something over the counter. Anyone who calls the house tomorrow before 10am will face my squirrely wrath!
I am a person who spends a LOT of time online. Between Facebook, Reddit, Pinterest, my chosen news outlets and blogs, I could spend the whole day online if I had an IV for my caffeine and an adult diaper. There are lots of reasons for this, I am lazy, incredibly nosy and I like to be informed about what is going on in the world. I like to learn things. I don’t like to form an absolute opinion about something until I feel like I have a good handle of arguments from multiple sides, it is the reason I stand in they murky grey area on most subjects from the death penalty to alien abduction, I still don’t have enough info. It is this quest that also leads me to break my husband’s golden rule “DON’T READ THE COMMENTS!”. I think that lots of times you can learn a lot by reading responses on FB feeds, news articles and Reddit threads if you keep in mind that people who feel strongly enough to stop and comment probably have a strong biased viewpoint. More pertinent to my thought today is that these posters also have the anonymity of the internet which seems to diminish any filter they might have in a regular face to face conversation. We all know the epidemic problem we, as a society, have with online or cyber bullying. It is VERY important that we continue to try and eradicate that behaviour but bullying isn’t what I want to talk about. I want to talk about plain ol’ meanness. It has just become so common place to rip on a person, a thought, an idea that we now live in a culture of malignity. Being nasty seems to have become the way for people to prove that they are better, smarter or funnier than other people. People who chose the shy away from that kind of behavior are cast as prudish, provincial or stupid. I am not simple minded, I can voice my opinion without being malicious to those who may feel differently than I do. I like to have a good laugh but I don’t like to do it at the expense of someone else, I don’t see anything funny about another person’s humiliation. Can we dislike something without being coarse ourselves? Can we disagree without being disagreeable? I think we can and once more I think it is time to start doing something about it, a movement of manners! A commotion of courtesy! A drive of decorum!!
The very hardest part of these operation red nose weekends is NOT keeping track of teams, deciphering drunk talk or dealing with some larger than life personalities… at least not for me. For me it is the staying awake after midnight. Much like Cinderella’s lovely carriage at midnight I turn into a pumpkin. This is is usually accompanied by much whining, complaining, and general irritation to those around me. This is generally not good behavior for dealing with the public so I have to try extra hard to be nice and alert so here is what I do!
– pump some tunes! We need music or we get punchy!
– drink A LOT of diet coke!!
– Eat wasabi peas! The pain keeps you on your toes!!
– clean! If I am moving around cleaning up after messy volunteers I don’t notice that I am dead on my feet.
– Wear comfy clothes. Nothing makes your night feel longer than an uncomfortable bra.
– Surround your self with crazy people…. Sandra I am looking at YOU!!
– Fantasize about sleeping in … a good fantasy will do wonderful things!
– Write in your blog, on your Facebook and Twitter.
Good day ladies and gents,
It is a lovely sunny day and I am immensely grateful for having a window in my office. At the hospital I had TWO offices and no windows, truly it was hell.
My mind is racing today with ideas for my story, I am getting really excited about November, this is the first time I have ever felt this way about that month.
First of all I wanted to say that by sharing with you my list I have given you an open invitation to keep me in check. Please feel free to ask me how I am doing, call me out (gently) if you think it is warranted or make suggestions to help me reach a goal.
This morning I got up at 6am which was helpful although I was still late getting in but that is because I let hubby sleep too long.
I did order my PSL with fat free milk this morning with no noticeable taste difference although I confess I did still get whip… Baby steps!
Also I called the office of a doctor I heard might be taking new patients. Not bad for the first 24 hours.
I am currently going through one of my flexitarian phases, which basically means I am trying to be very restrictive about what and how many animal proteins I consume. I could NEVER give up meat outright but I certainly feel my body telling me ‘I can’t handle this much meat!!!’ At the moment I limiting myself to one portion of lean meat a day and filling up with veggies or non meat alternatives. For lunch today I had awesome nuggets made with TVP, I must say that we have come a long way in tastes and textures since my first forays into meatless alternatives back in high school. The only real problem I have with them is the high sodium so it isn’t something I would want to have every meal or even every day.
My awesome husband is as supportive as ever, he knows from past experience that this might last a few days or a few months but eventually I will want to sink my teeth into a juicy rare steak. 🙂
If you like a good food blog you should check out my friend Chris, a savvy father of two who shames my with his culinary skills. He’s also just a nice guy, you’ll like him I sure do!
Back in the Queen of Everything days I periodically did restaurant/cooking reviews which is something I am really keen to get back into. I am not a great cook but if I am going to stick with my goal of cooking at home five days a week than I am going to have to get more adventurous and some of those exploits might be fun to share.