25 more days until my first grand solo adventure. To say I am excited is a great understatement. I have been prepping for this trip so extensively, every restaurant thoroughly researched, galleries, parks and attractions planned meticulously. Outfits have been carefully chosen. I am a planner, it’s what I do, who I am. I was talking to my friend Mark this evening and he described a recent vacation of his where he just flew by the seat of his pants, woke up in his exotic local and thought “What shall I do today?”. Honest to god just listening to him gave me palpitations. Without a list, without a well thought out plan… .what would I DO?! And then a thought occurred to me…. Have I always been such a tight ass? And the answer is no. I remember a time when I definitely had much less of a stick so firmly inserted, a time when I was younger, had much less responsibility, a time when I was kind of a bit of wild child. For about second and a half I felt some kind of twinge, some nostalgia maybe for that girl who moved to London without a job or money or a plan, the girl who went to university… on a dare! The girl who did lots of other things that I am totally not going to confess to in the internet because I still have some dignity. But just as quickly as that pang of nostalgia stuck it was chased away by the memory of how unhappy that girl was, how miserable being unpredictable made me. The memory of how worried I was about paying rent or bills or eating. The memory of how worried my friends and family were for me and the choices I made for myself. Now I am sure there is a middle ground and I hope one day to find it, maybe have one day of vacation where I “play it by ear”. I can certainly work on being less ridged but in the mean time if the key to my happiness and confidence is a well thought out list… well that is a price I am happy to pay.
Dudes I am have been SO excited for the weekend. It has been a LONG work week. Like SUPER long, not awful just busy and frustrating. But I have plans for the weekend, good plans, exciting plans. Plans I am REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO! So of course we are going to have a snow storm. For me snow = work, and sure work = $$ but balls to your $$ I have plans!!
There is some serious planning going on right now. I have a little project I am working on that has me super jazzed. I have had a great few days with heaps of energy and my mood has been high. I love having something to look for to, I love making plans. Stay tuned for more as things get even more awesome.